Since I am tired of talking about my foot and you are tired of hearing about it, I'm going to take a stab at this game.
Choose five of the professions and finish the sentence...
If I could be a scientist... If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician... If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter... If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary... If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect... If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist... If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete... If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper... If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer... If I could be a backup dancer...
If I could be a llama-rider... If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a midget stripper... If I could be a proctologist...
If I could be a TV-Chat Show host... If I could be an actor...
If I could be a judge... If I could be a Jedi...
If I could be a mob boss... If I could be a backup singer...
If I could be a CEO... If I could be a movie reviewer...
If I could be a farmer I would initially put all my German farming ancestors to shame. I would turn my land into a mess of weeds even though I'd be enjoying the dirt on my hands and the sweat on my brow. All the neighboring farmers would talk about the silly woman who turned a perfectly good field into weeds, but I would attend every church supper anyway and become friends with them and then I'd start learning how to farm. By the time by girls were teenagers we'd have a crop of who knows what and they'd be helping alongside me making their great-great-great-great-great grandparents proud.
If I could be an athlete, I would never do a triathalon. I'd play tennis. I would play the Wimbledon tournament all year round and every other week I would win it and people would bring me strawberries and cream and write about the American that just wouldn't go home. NBC would be so annoyed because they'd have to keep airing the tournament. I would wear a white classic tennis outfit, until I got bored. Then I might look into other fashion statements. But I would never, ever wear anything designed by Serena Williams. Just not attractive. Sorry Serena.
If I could be a back-up singer, I'd sing for Ray Charles (time-travel I guess). But I would make him stop taking all those drugs first, so his life-story wouldn't be quite so turbulent and sad. And I would tell him that it wasn't his fault that his brother died and he would cry on my shoulder. And I would sing my heart out on the stage with him, yes I would.
If I could be a backup dancer, you would laugh me right off the stage. Perhaps you would think you were watching a Saturday Night Live skit or something. Or the I Love Lucy show, with me as Lucy dancing for Ricky and the audience going wild with laughter. It would be a classic episode. One of the top ten funniest sitcom scenes ever. Better than the chocolate factory scene.
If I could be a writer, I would want to find a place where I would be motivated to write every day. And I wouldn't want to worry about sending what I write out to publishers, because I've spent too much of my life waiting to get approval on what I write. I would want to find a small group of readers that I could feel safe with...so even when my writing was REALLY bad they would say "Hey, how's it going?" and pat me on the back. And they would come again to read the next post.
I hope.
By the way, look what Elle picked out for me. Timeless is the word she chose for me in the Image game. Thanks, Elle. I am truly flattered.
If I could be...
